Cat Madigan

GoT Season Eight, Episode Four Musings/Predictions: Dany's Downfall?

Sat, 11 May 2019 06:59:46 GMT

*SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE FRIGGING SERIES UP TO SEASON EIGHT, EPISODE 4*

Since Season 7, my thoughts concerning the Game of Thrones TV adaptation have been... mixed. Since Year 9, I've been a massive fan of the books, and I still remember being one of the people who went into Season 3 barely able to conceal my anticipation for the Red Wedding from the unsuspecting viewers going in blind. A lot of the thrill I got from the series was from seeing the books I loved being brought to life, but this didn't mean I wasn't still hyped for the series once it passed the point of ADWD. The writers had been doing a good job so far, and it seemed like they knew what they were doing, so I didn't complain.

...till Season 7.

At this point, the show felt a lot more manufactured. It still had amazing moments, but you could certainly feel the situations becoming more and more... forced. For example, one of the giant selling points of the show was its "Anyone can die" reputation, but the only characters dying were ones that you could see not being important in the leadup to the end game, aka, Season 8. People died, but it was no longer a shock; it felt like the writers were simply clearing the stage for the characters who were actually vital to the finale. Season 7 was disappointing, but I was still inclined to forgive it — for all its faults, it was clearly setting things up for the final season, and with all the set pieces in place, you couldn't deny that it was gonna be a spectacle. Of course I was gonna watch it.

So what are my thoughts so far this season?

...again, they're mixed. And don't give me that look! I'm definitely not the only one who feels that way! Episode 3 was the epic battle against the White Walkers, the seemingly unstoppable zombie army with a fuck-mothering zombie dragon on their side. It seemed like the White Walkers were set up to be the ultimate Big Bad of the series... only to be seemingly taken out in one (admittedly badass) move by Arya. Now, if anyone's interested, Hello Future Me has an awesome video highlighting how Episode 3 could've been improved while still keeping the major elements and making the Night King's story infinitely more fascinating. You'll have to google it yourself though, because I'm still trying to find my way around Dreamwidth and I'm lazy.

Anyway, after Episode 3, I was left with one major question; if the series wasn't building up to the White Walker Army destroying everything (and presuming there's no future plot twist that puts the WWs back in the game), then what is the end goal here?

And then I saw Episode 4, and a nasty thought began to emerge in my brain concerning our beloved Mother of Dragons.

Over seven seasons, we've seen Dany gone from a quiet political pawn who was abused by her brother into a powerful Khaleesi in her own right. Her entire arc has been about her learning the lessons and gaining the power she needed to take back her birthright; the Iron Throne. She's had a lot of ups and downs throughout the series, but her biggest "oh shit" moment arguably took place in Season 7, when one of her dragons, Viserion, got killed by the Night King's Olympic level javelin throwing skills, leaving her with only two mass weapons of destruction. And to Daenerys, this is on par with her losing a child; and not even for the first time. How could things get worse?

Season Eight: "*burps* Hold my ale."

Yeah... looking over these past four episodes with a critical eye, there's a conga line approaching, full of small incidents and events with the sole purpose of fucking up Daenerys's day. And as we all know, the Targaryen dynasty is capable of both greatness and madness, and Dany herself has proven herself to be both compassionate and ruthless on the toss of a dime. But madness? I'd be disappointed if the show had Daenerys go full on Mad Queen as all her advisors are fearing, because we've seen all the good she's done, and the good she can do in Westeros...if they'd accept her. But that's just it; they're not accepting her, and as Dany becomes more and more isolated, we see her compassionate side beginning to withdraw.

From Season Eight, Episode One, Dany's introduction to the North is a little frosty. The Northeners don't like trust her, her dragon babies don't like the cold, and she upsets Sam — who's not only her new boo's best friend, but also responsible for healing Jorah's illness — with the news that, oh yeah, she burnt his father and brother to death when they didn't submit to her. Not helping this is Jawn Snoo's news from Sam that he's actually the son of Rhaegar Targaryen, though this isn't shared with Dany till Episode Two.

Speaking of Episode Two, let's continue going through Daenerys's Worst Family Vacation Ever. Jaime Lannister arrives and reveals that Cersei is going back on her deal with them, leaving them with less forces to fight the Walkers with and Tyrion in Dany's bad books. At this point, Tyrion's failed Daenerys multiple times now, and luckily for him, Jorah manages to convince Daenerys to keep Tyrion as her hand. But Tyrion and Dany's relationship is now strained, which is certainly not a good thing for a council that's trying to organise a battalion against an undead army. Dany tries to bond with Sansa, and we see a glimpse of that ever-fleeting humanity in Daenerys, as she expresses her feelings for Jon to Sansa. These women have wills of steel, and clearly admire each other's strength; but Sansa is deadset on keeping the North for the Starks, and Dany is equally deadset on ruling the Seven Kingdoms, and neither of them are budging. To top of this Terrible No-Good Awful Day, Jon reveals his true heritage to Dany in the crypts, and you see the immediate horror in Dany as she realises her claim to the Iron Throne is in jeopardy. Aaaaaaand then the Walkers attack.

Episode Three starts, and the damage against Dany is no longer just psychological; it has a body count. First, she loses her entire Dothraki fleet on the front line in the first charge against the White Walkers. Remember, these are her forces, not the Starks', and these people were the ones who gave her the confidence to be a Queen in the first place. She took them from their homeland, crossed the sea so they could conquer a kingdom, only for them all to die in a completely unrelated fight. She abandoned her goal to do what was right, but as they say, no good deed goes unpunished. But it seems that whoever's writing this has a kink for punishing Dany, so in addition to losing her Dothraki troops (and about half of her Unsullied), she also loses Jorah, who dies protecting her after she falls off Drogon into a pile of the Undead. In an episode full of death and loss, it was Dany who probably lost the most in this one fight. Her manpower's been crushed, and one of her dragons is wounded (and soon to be dead), and she still has an Iron Throne to take.

No wonder Daenerys looks defeated when Episode Four begins, after the mass funeral and subsequent victory party held at Winterfell. Daenerys has always fought to protect the innocent, but this time it's potentially cost her the Iron Throne. Sure, she has the forces at Winterfell backing her up, but that army is in the hands of Jon, who is now possibly her biggest threat to getting her hands on Westeros's most uncomfortable chair. Despite the fact he's pinky sworn not to spill the secret about his heritage, Dany pleads with him to never tell anyone the truth, almost like she's begging for her life — which she is, in a way. Her entire life's work has been to get her claws on the Iron Throne, and that plan depends on the people of Westeros accepting her as the rightful ruler. The last thing she needs is another, prettier, and (arguably) manlier contender to take her place, after everything's she's done to get to her position. And just because Jawn doesn't want to rule doesn't mean others won't want him to, and that his army won't choose to support him over her.

Case in point; Jawn finally tells the secret to the remaining Starks, and with the help of Sansa (never trust Sansa with secrets, she was raised by Littlefinger), the news spreads to Tyrion and Varys as well, who act as audience surrogates, debating over who'd be the better ruler and what would be best for the kingdom. So to conclude the first half hour, Dany's dealing with the loss of half her men, the loss of her closest advisor, and her remaining allies are questioning whether to replace him with Lawful Good Boy Jawn Snoo. Oh, and then her dragon dies.

I wonder if that's why Rhaegal got injured in the previous episode. "Okay, so Jawn Snoo is gonna ride him in Episode Three, but we need a reason for him to not be riding him in Episode Four, where Rhaegal gets shot out of the sky by the pervy pirate. Got it! Rhaegal has an owie on his wing from the fight with Viserion! Justified!" But yeah, Dany loses another of her dragon children on her way to Kings Landing AND Missandei gets captured by Cersei's troops, and is being held hostage in exchange for Daenerys's surrender. By this point, Dany is justifiably pissed and ready to raze Kings Landing to the ground with her last dragon, even after hearing that Cersei is bringing civilians into the Red Keep. However, she agrees to a summit with Cersei, citing that this'll be Cersei's one chance to avoid unnecessary bloodshed. Merciful Dany is gone, and she doesn't have Jorah or Missandei to help her hold on to her humanity anymore. And at the summit, Missandei's last words to Dany are "Dracarys!", right before Zombie Gregor cuts off her head in front of Daenerys and Tyrion. Dany has lost her companion, again. And Tyrion has failed her, again. He tried to reason with Cersei, appealed to her maternal instincts, and to the life of the child (apparently) growing inside her. Tyrion's plans are always to help Daenerys, but his luck is beginning to rival that of Theon Greyjoy, God rest his soul. Let's just hope that Daenerys doesn't go for his balls after this.

But I consider this point the edge of madness for Daenerys Targaryen; her forces are exhausted and have been halved by the White Walkers. Two out of her three dragons have been killed, and the other is still a target. The two people closest to her are dead, and her remaining council are questioning her right to rule. And lastly, the man she loves and has put her trust in could be on his way to taking her birthright right from under her, despite his reluctance. They say you can only see someone's true nature when they're at their lowest, and Dany is... a little overwhelmed at the moment. But part of me still wants to hope for Dany; I believe she still has the capacity to step back and stop herself from picking up her father's mantle. Even though this could be a story of her tragic downfall, this could also simply be the low point of her hero's journey, where she proceeds to overcome the adversity thrown her way to take back the Iron Throne.

Targaryens are capable of both greatness and madness. Daenerys can be both compassionate and ruthless. Is she going to be the final "evil" of the story? While I hate the idea of Daenerys being torn down like this, I also find it compelling — we've seen Daenerys do so much good over the series, and we've cheered for her for seven seasons now. The reason she's in such a low place now is simply because she did what she'd always done — fought to protect the innocent, even though it caused a great personal cost to herself. The path to hell is paved with good intentions; maybe Daenerys will become another "Mad Queen", not because she herself will go mad, but because people will remember her for her hellfire and fury, while her acts of protection and mercy will fade from the memories of everyone in Westeros.

...okay, I think I got all my thoughts out. Time to wait for Episode Five.

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Cat 'n' Daniel Talk: HTGAWM Season 4 — Episode 1

Mon, 09 Oct 2017 04:16:37 GMT

CAT: Beware. There be spoilers.

How To Get Away With Murder is a show that I don't know whether to feel guilty about liking or not. On one hand, it has a fascinating anti heroine played by the glorious Viola Davis, great writing and performances all across the board, and enough twists and turns to keep you invested throughout the season. On the other hand...

DANIEL: *interrupts* Do I want to know who you're talking to?

Cat looks up from her computer to look at Daniel, who is attempting to give some organisation to her bookcase/filing cabinet.

CAT: I'm talking out loud while writing down my thoughts on Season 4 of HTGAWM. Wanna join in?

DANIEL: ...okay then.

He stands up and shakes himself off before walking over and sitting down on his companion, who responds with a loud squawk.

DANIEL: *ignores* HTGAWM, while having interesting characters and a plot that keeps you in suspense, relies on teasing you with mysteries in order to keep you invested in the show. Its gimmick is that it flashes back between the present and the future, where a crime has taken place, and slowly reveals the events leading up to it, culminating in the...ninth episode?

Cat lets out a muffled sound that would indicate yes.

DANIEL: Thank you, dear. *clears his throat* ...culminating in the ninth episode where we see the actual crime being carried out and answering all the viewer's questions. Well, most of the questions. Then they add another hook to keep you watching for the remainder of the season, which, of course, ends on a cliffhanger to drag you back for the next one, where the cycle continues. While clever, it's nothing more than a formula specifically designed to bait your brain into watching it again and again just to see what happens. *sighs* And unfortunately, the two of us are hooked.

Cat manages to wiggle into a position where she isn't entirely squished.

CAT: To be honest though, by Season 4, I'm curious as to where they're planning on going from here, or if there's a plan. At the end of Season 3, the deaths of Sam Keating and Rebecca were blamed on Wes, who was conveniently murdered in Season 3's mid season finale thus making an easy scapegoat. This means that all the Keating Five's misdemeanours have now been swept under the rug. The only thing I think these guys could be charged with now is possibly Lila's death (aka, the girl in the ~~fridge~~ water tank in Season 1), but that's only because I can't for the life of me remember what ended up happening with her death. Like, did it get blamed on Rebecca after she 'ran away', or is that still in the Unsolved Cases file? I don't knoooooow. *pauses* Actually, now that I think about it, is Rebecca's brother out of prison yet? I think his name was Eli? He was cute...

DANIEL: Of course, there's always the possibility that they'll dig up new evidence — perhaps literally — that'll re-incriminate the group, but we're four seasons into this show and that plot point has gotten stale.

CAT: Yeah, I love the show, but honestly? I'm ready for shit to hit the fan. And by that, I mean I'm ready for the Murder Inc. team to actually face consequences for their actions that don't go away by the season's end. By now, the show needs to start preparing itself for the end game; it might be called How To Get Away With Murder, but someone's gotta go down for those crimes, and this time, I don't want it to be a post-mortem Alfred Enoch.

So...time to recap.

DANIEL: The episode starts off with Annalise inviting everyone to a fancy dinner tomorrow night, because apparently none of the Keating Five has lives or plans outside of Murder Inc. The first person we see react to this is Laurel, out for the day with her dad, who, as we know, pulled a Sam Keating and commissioned the murder of Laurel's baby daddy last season. Fortunately for the audience, Laurel looks like she's caught onto this, so hopefully we don't have to spend too much time screaming at her to get a clue.

CAT: Eh, I've already got plenty of reasons to hate Laurel.

Oh, shush, non existent audience! Her actress is fantastic, and there's no denying that Laurel's the smartest out of the Keating Five, but I just don't like her personality. If you're a fan of her, I've got nothing against you, I'm just wired differently, and that's okay. (Saying that, I've got a tonne of theories about Laurel that aren't so nice, so just warning you in advance...)

...anyhoo. Laurel tells the (sorta) truth to her dad; she got knocked up. And then she tells him and the audience that she had an abortion which I don't believe for a second because a) Laurel is an excellent liar to put it nicely, and four seasons in, I've learnt never to take her word at face value, b) I feel that Laurel getting an abortion would've gotten a lot more screen time than just a sidenote in a conversation at the start of an episode, and c) Bojack Horseman is the only show I've seen where a main character chooses to abort a pregnancy from a happy relationship and isn't demonised for her decision, and I don't think the writers of this show would want to risk alienating their audience. Murder's fine, but don't go aborting no babies, guys.

And with that, I'm tired of talking about Laurel. She shows up at the dinner, late, and we're treated to the sight of everyone's hair changes in between seasons.

DANIEL: Nothing's too different. Apart from Connor's crew cut, there's no massive deviations, despite what my exaggerating companion would have you believe.

Cat sticks her tongue out and accidentally licks Daniel's back. He smirks.

DANIEL: Annalise is dragging out the letter opening as much the episode itself, and after making everyone order so no one can get away that easily, we flashback to one week prior. *harp sound effect*

Annalise is on a plane to visit her mother, and, shock and horror, she's not accompanied by alcohol or a bag of potato chips. Good for you, Anna May. Well, now she's going by Bonnie, because a gentleman on the plane decides to hit on her, and she does the smart thing and makes up an alias, though I have to ask, how did this guy manage to not recognise her? Maybe I'm confused because neither of us know how interstate news works in the US, but it does seem pretty convenient that Annalise managed to run into the one semi attractive man on the plane who doesn't recognise her as the defence lawyer that got accused of murdering her student/surrogate son.

CAT: Plus, we later see that he's staying at a hotel, implying he's flying to Memphis on business, so either Pennsylvania was a stop over on his way there (again, if any US audiences can help us understand how airlines work there, please halp), or he is from the same state that Annalise and Murder Inc. are located, and is either pretending he doesn't recognise her, or he's been blissfully ignorant of the news story where a kid got barbecued in her house.

DANIEL: Also lending some shade to Mysteriously Oblivious Man is that when Annalise, I mean, Bonnie introduces herself, he charms her with the stories of his great aunt Bonnie. Again, little too convenient. I can't tell if he's telling the truth or he's just trying to get in her pants or if he's actually suspicious, (because I'm only as intelligent as my creator, who is...socially challenged)—

CAT: Says the grown man sitting on my lap and crushing my legs.

DANIEL: — but I think it's worth mentioning, since this is a show that's proven itself to leave extremely subtle Chekov's Guns that you'd never suspect.

Cut to back home in Memphis, and after a one absolutely-not-about-to-be-ruined reunion, we find out why Anna May's come home. Last season, we realised that Ophelia, Annalise's mother, has been suffering from dementia, and now that Annalise has money coming in from the house insurance, she wants to go look at nursing homes for Ophelia, who's having none of that. Truth be told, the scenes between Viola Davis and Cicely Tyson are the best and most heartbreaking part of the episode, Cicely in particular. Ophelia knows that she's losing her mind, but can't bring herself to leave her family the way it is, and throughout the episode she goes through indignant outrage, dementia induced rambling, nostalgic melancholy and quiet acceptance, and her performance makes the news that Annalise can no longer pay for Ophelia's dream nursing home even more tragic. Congrats, HTGAWM.

CAT: Daww. You had a feeling.

Daniel rolls his eyes.

CAT: Buuut who has time for emotional catharsis? In between this we have snippets of the less interesting members of Murder Inc. Colliver are hanging out together at a Gay Bar which has been taken over by a bachelorette party (how the HELL does that work?) and are talking about their own last-season cliffhanger — will Connor say yes to Ollie's proposal? Michaela and Asher meanwhile are shopping for new bed together. Hastag Couple Thingz. Are they moving in together, or are they just replacing the one that Colliver humped on last season? Either way, I'm not sure how they can afford this, given that they're students and Asher's been shown to have money problems, but I guess I can suspend my disbelief a little. Oh, and Frank and Bonnie are going office shopping for Annalise, even though they're not sure if she has her office back yet, or if she can work with Frank without wanting him to stab him for murdering her baby.

DANIEL: Well, planting a bug for the people who crashed into Annalise and killed her unborn child. But on this show it's treated like the same thing. I don't get it.

Frank's way of making up for the miscarriage is using his baby-murder money to pay for a new office, and with that, we've pretty much caught up on everything happening with the Murder Inc. team, so back to Annalise.

CAT: After she gets a call from Bonnie telling her that Sam Keating's annoying sister is contesting her for the insurance money from the house, Annalise decides to let out some steam the only way she can now that she's sworn off drinking — slutting it up. Fortunately the conveniently clueless piece of eye candy is here to help! She goes over and takes things straight to his hotel room, but they're interrupted by a phone call. It's only Clueless's daughter, but it's enough to ruin Annalise's mood for random sex with virtual strangers, so she leaves. From there, Anna May and her family go to look at nursing homes with her mother, feels ensue between Ophelia and her daughter, and Annalise's dad (who for some reason, I thought was her Annalise's brother, but apparently not) apologises to her for her terrible childhood. And with that, we're all caught up!

DANIEL: Not quite, Madigan. One of the plot threads from last season has yet to be wrapped up; the disbarment hearing. Since Annalise violated her agreement that she'd stay sober while on probation, you'd think it would be a clear cut case of "You lost your chance, off you go". But if that were to happen, we'd have no show, so Annalise gets off relatively scot free after an impassioned plea to the judge or whoever's in charge. Law of television outranks law of reality, what can I say?

CAT: NOW we're up to the present, and we can find out what's in the envelopes. ~~Breakup~~ Recommendation Letters. And there's one for Bonnie too! Murder Inc. is officially being disbanded. *acquires cigar and Tychus Findlay voice* Hell. It's about time.

DANIEL: Bla bla bla, emotional reactions to letters summing up their strengths. Everything gets resolved in a nice little bow — Connor and Oliver decide that they won't get married until everything's died down now that they're no longer working for the most unlucky person since Bad Luck Brian, and Michaela and Asher (mostly Michaela) get themselves pumped so they can get hired and turn their lives around, which is more than what Laurel's doing. She nearly sends a text to her dad which confirms that she knows the truth about Wes's death, but decides not to. Considering how he's part of the Spanish Mafia or whatever, I'd be concerned he's monitoring her phone, but whatever. Oh, and she is keeping the baby after all. OH MY GOD I NEVER SUSPECTED — screw it. In more interesting news, Bonnie uses her newfound freedom to go work for the enemy, aka, the guy that was trying to prosecute Annalise last season. With Bonnie, we never know whether she's acting on her own agency or doing it for the sake of her girl crush, but the idea of Bonnie deciding to start a life away from Annalise is an intriguing one.

CAT: ...of course, if she wanted to do that, she'd probably leave the frigging state, so I'm not gonna get my hopes up.

DANIEL: Oh, and Nate's alive. Hi Nate. As for Annalise, she moves into a rent by the week apartment and gets a new shrink, and we know he's going to be important because he's there when the episode flashes forward to the fuuuuuutuuuuuuuure.

CAT: *gasps* It's day time! We have a green-tinted future flash forward that takes place in day time! So to recount, the flash forwards of the past three seasons have centered around a single burning question:

S1) Who killed Sam Keating?
S2) Who shot Annalise?
S3) Who started the fire in Annalise's house and who is dead?

Season Three was particularly tricky, as it showed us a flash forward where Wes was alive, but it turned out that the scene in question took place before the fire. The lesson? Analyse the crap out of the flash forward scenes.

Speaking of, our very first flash forward takes place three months from whenever the hell we are, and it seems like a very guilty looking Frank and Dr Strange are still alive (no, the actor isn't Benedict Cumberbatch, sorry to get your hopes up), and they're at the hospital to see one unconscious and drugged up human, who's quickly revealed to be Laurel. Who is no longer sporting a baby bump. She awakens and doesn't seem surprised to see Frank, but is extremely surprised to find out that she's missing Wes's lovechild. So, the driving question of Season 4 is:

S4: What happened to Laurel's baby?

Because I really wanted to focus on Laurel more this season. But yeah, the current fan theory is that Annalise's mommy issues took a turn for the worse and she resorted to kidnapping her surrogate son's baby. My theory? Laurel did have an abortion, or she lost the baby, and was actually lying to Murder Inc. when she said she was due. Her compulsion to lie seen throughout the series has gotten to such a point where she's deluding herself that she's still pregnant with Wes's child, and her baby bulge was nothing more than a pillow or one of the fake bellies that celebrities apparently wear in all the conspiracy theories. Hey, it wouldn't be How To Get Away With Murder without an insane twist to screw you up!

DANIEL: That's it for episode one. Already we're left with plenty of questions; how's Annalise's therapist gonna be involved in this latest probable-murder? What's going to transpire to bring Murder Inc. back together? Will Cat be able to use her legs now I've cut off her circulation from her thighs? One thing's for sure; Cat's doing this thing on her own from now on, because talking to computers is horrible.

Daniel stands up and goes back to the bookshelf, as Cat groans and tries to massage the bloodflow back into her legs.

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Day Zero — Hunger Games Fic

Mon, 18 Sep 2017 01:12:41 GMT

CAT: What's this? I'm actually using my DW page for once! Gasp!

Well, since I need to get into the habit of actually using this account, because it's meant to help give my adoptive sister a sense of where my mental health is at, I thought I'd start by putting up a fic thingy I wrote not too long ago in response to a story that ended up on DS, a one-shot of the name The Girl From District Two. It's a Hunger Games fic that...well, it was written with the intention of making Clove sympathetic, by writing about her romantic relationship with her fellow tribute, Cato. The results? Not good. But what can you expect when you slap the dynamic that Katniss and Peeta had onto two characters with opposite backgrounds, attitudes and motivations for entering the Hunger Games? Not helping matters was the main character herself. Apparently all you have to do to redeem a character — even one whose most famous moment is when she plans to slice up Katniss's lips into sashimi before killing her — is to have them be in Twu Wuv with someone. Eh, I guess if it worked for Yuno.

The ultimate issue is making Clove sympathetic in a universe where she's canonically displayed sadistic tendencies and a ruthless disposition to murdering things, and given everything that's happened, the only thing I can think of that could possibly excuse her behaviour is to show how she's clearly gone off the deep end. Unfortunately for the Cato/Clove shippers, that means that the romance needs to take a backseat to the story of Clove's downfall. There's something ironic about this demographic of fans who want to ignore all the horrors involved in the Games in favour of focusing on one couple and their tragic fluff-filled romance, but I digress.

So yeah, since the only defence for Clove's actions is insanity, it makes writing a Clove/Cato relationship into the universe the books take place in difficult. Any romance during the Games is undermined by how murder-happy they are, as is the idea of Clove and Cato secretly being in love with each other. But writing a romance that takes place before the Games is equally problematic — because the two grew up in District 2, that means that they would've both been volunteers for the games, aka, Cato would've volunteered knowing that his lover was competing and that he'd have to kill her or be killed by her for their District to win. It's an interesting idea, but it's definitely a romance killer.

But it does technically create a Cato/Clove relationship that helps make Clove sympathetic. And it has the potential to lend to Clove's frail state of mind during the games, eventually leading to her breakdown. And lets face it; there's no canon way that Clove or Cato have a happy ending.

So this is my version of a Cato/Clove romance, because I'm incapable of writing happy endings. All must suffer, yada yada yada. But yes, please feel free to leave constructive criticism and feedback; I'm starting to get back into writing after being busy as hell with TAFE, so I love any sort of advice. Criticise meh, plssssss.

*bows out*
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Since we heard the announcement, it was like a switch had been flipped. I should’ve been relieved; Cato’s sole focus from Day 1 had been on winning, and once the District 12 girl was dead, it was only a matter of time before he turned on me.

Then Claudius Templesmith declared that two surviving district members could share the victory, and suddenly, Cato was back to his old self — he was still as cocky and driven as when I first met him, but now his plans had shifted, now that he knew that the future he dreamed of could include me too.

But I couldn’t be happy. I couldn’t even pretend to be, even though this was probably the best shot we had at appealing to the sponsors — we both knew that all the supplies were going to District 12 and their “look at how much in love we are!” performance. If I wasn’t so hungry, I would’ve laughed at them, them and the Capitol, for eating it all up like jelly candies; if there was anything my parents taught me (besides how to carve up a lump of stone into a glittering sculpture in ten minutes flat), it was that real love didn’t require any grand declarations; it was just two people who completed each other. That was the bond they had. That was the bond I thought I had with Cato.

Until Day 0. The Reaping.

We were both at the top of our class, so no one was surprised when we were both declared as the District Two tributes for the 74th Hunger Games — what they didn’t know was that before Day 0, Cato and I made a deal. If both of us became tributes, it would only slow us down in the arena, so we decided that if I got chosen as the female volunteer, Cato would back down. Our teachers would be disappointed, but they’d understand once we explained that our relationship would give our district a disadvantage if we were both to compete. And privately, I thought it would give each other something to fight for, knowing that the one we loved most was waiting at home for us to win.

The girl who was chosen was a shy, mousy thing that everyone called Pup, because her eyes were like a dog’s; big and brown and utterly terrified. I had no regrets about volunteering immediately after, and when I passed her on my way upstage, she gave me a grateful smile. The boy whose name they pulled out next was the opposite of Pup; Mason was a classmate of ours at the academy who always joked that his mother cheated on her husband with a giant from up in the mountains, hence his enormous size. I remember feeling relieved that his name was pulled out; in two seconds, one lucky volunteer would take his place, and I wouldn’t have to experience the pain of killing Mason.

Then Cato’s voice rang out in the crowds. And everyone else cheered as he swaggered on stage and was declared my fellow tribute for the 74th Hunger Games as I just stood there in horrified silence.

I don't count Day 1 as the day the games began. I count Day 1 as the first day we were left alone together. I waited for his excuse, that he didn’t see who the female tribute was, that he thought that I wasn’t going to volunteer, that he was pressured into it by his parents, or Enobaria, or Brutus — even (though I would’ve slapped him if he said it), “I wanted to be there to protect you in the arena, because I love you, and I’d give my life for you!” would've sated me. I would’ve preferred any of those half assed platitudes to what he did give me; nothing but silence, before sweeping past me and helping himself to one of the tarts sitting at the dining table.

From then on, we were separate entities, fighting purely for the glory of District 2. As Careers, we banded together, but we didn’t share a single word until we were the last ones left — and only once did we have an actual conversation: “Who do you think got One?” (me), “The Eleven girl died too, right? I’m betting either the other guy who was in her district or Lover Boy’s girlfriend. Five’s too quiet, and Lover Boy…well, he’s in no shape to take out a cockroach, let alone One,” (him). It was easier to pretend that nothing before Day 1 had ever happened between us, like sweeping the remains of a shattered bowl under a rug. Now, Cato was taking those pieces, cramming the stone fragments together, and insisting that the bowl had never broken in the first place. It’s been two days, and a very strong part of me wants to take my knife and make him stop making me think about it.

The worst part? I still don't know why Cato volunteered. But he did it knowing that in order to win, he'd have to kill me. The thought scrapes away at my sanity; despite our separation, I've never left Cato's side. I've always been there, I've seen every time Cato has killed another tribute, and in my head, I always imagine myself in their place. The girl from ten, throat slashed with the first thing he could get his hands on; she'd been running to get it too, but Cato beat her to it and turned on her. The boy from four, who should've been on our team, but he tried to grab Cato's machete from him; Cato had laughed. Both District Six's tributes as they tried to run. The boy from five, who was crying for his mother. The girl from eight, who we tracked from the smoke of the fire she lit; that was the first time I actually saw Cato's face and felt afraid. The boy from three, the main reason why our stomaches were running on low; Cato had snapped his neck like it was nothing. Every time he killed, more fuel was added to my paranoia, and the few nights I did manage to sleep, I woke up barely able to stop myself from screaming because Cato was pinning me down, laughing as I screamed, drawing the steel across my neck, watching me choke and go purple as I can't breathe—

The memory must show on my face, because Cato asks if I'm okay. I can't bear to look at him anymore; he was willing to kill me, and maybe he still is. I nod, and ask if he knows the plan for the Feast; I'm to go for our supplies, and he's to scout the area for tributes. I tell him this is so he can make sure no one else leaves alive, and that I'd make Twelve pay for burning up our supplies. That's somewhat true; every time I think of Twelve, I think of the 'madly in love' crap she and Lover Boy are feeding the sponsors, and how Cato and I are now starving, and how I want to punish her for being a reminder of before Day 0 by slicing her lips open so she can't talk anymore. Killing her is the only thing that distracts me from killing Cato; even if I won the games by my own right, if I stabbed Cato now, I'd be thrown out of my own district, if they didn't execute me themselves. I'd be a monster who killed her own partner even though there was a way out for both of us. A monster...somehow this comforts me. Monsters are too powerful to be killed. If I'm a monster, Cato can't kill me, Twelve can't kill me, her idiot boyfriend can't kill me, and I can leave here alive and no one will hurt me again.

That's the other reason I told Cato to go survey the arena. If he's out of the way, I can go for the backpacks. I'll have enough to protect myself from him, from everyone that's left. And without him there, I'll be able to keep away from the part of me that wants to kill him. We can be separate again. While I'm gone, I can take down whoever's left on my own, and keep away from Cato's path until the last siren blows and we're declared the joint winners of the 74th annual Hunger Games. When we're back in the Capitol, I'll play the lovebird angle, claiming that I wasn't just in love with him, I wanted to fight for him, and win the competition so we could be together. Maybe even Cato would buy it. He's bought everything this far.

Or maybe he'll die. Maybe Twelve or the boy from Eleven will kill him before I can kill them. That could happen too.

But because of Day 0, I'm not sure that I care about that anymore.

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The Girl In The Chinese Room

Mon, 10 Apr 2017 06:48:15 GMT

There is silence in the newly generated DW world. Formerly a large expanse of white, the void has been filled with a room, in preparation for its new occupant; a computer sits in the corner, plugged in, but not powered on; bookshelves line the walls, cluttered with papers, books and various trinkets; a sofa with a blanket and pillow has been arranged for a sleeping place, and a kitchen is tucked away next to a door that never opens.

A loud CRACK cuts through the air, and a girl with long, messy hair is dropped into the room. Stumbling to the ground, she looks up and surveys her surroundings.

GIRL: The HELL?

She slowly comes to her feet, trying to understand what's going on.

GIRL: My room? But this isn't LiveJournal...

She scratches her head, frowning at the door before knocking.

GIRL: Well, at least we don't have a steel door this time.

To her surprise, someone knocks back from the other side.

GIRL: Eh? Daniel, is that you?

Silence.

GIRL: ...If it's you, knock the tune to my favorite song as of... *tries to think of when she heard it* ...last Thursday.

A series of knocks immediately resounds from the other side of the door. The girl grins, but it doesn't last long. Knowing what the result will be, she tries to open the door, but it doesn't budge.

GIRL: Dicks. *pauses* Might wanna move away from the door, Daniel.

Taking a step back, she prepares herself before launching a mighty kick at it.

The door flies open, and she's almost sucked outside into the vacuum of space, if not for a strong hand that snatches her arm before she flies away. She turns back to see Daniel, clinging the doorframe like a lifeline, white in the face. With a grunt, Daniel heaves himself and the girl back through the doorway into the room. Once inside, she grabs ahold of the handle and wrenches the door shut behind them before they both fall to the kitchen floor, panting.

Regaining breath, Daniel sits up.

DANIEL: So...that's what's on the other side of the door.

GIRL: *still gasping* Like I always thought....outside world....incredibly overrated.

Daniel gives the room a once over.

DANIEL: Well, I see our organisation skills have remained the same, Cat Madigan.

CAT: Don't look at me, I only just got here.

DANIEL: *raises an eyebrow* It took you that long to mess everything up?

CAT: Forget it.

She gets up and exits the kitchen, approaching the desk where the computer sits. She thinks, then begins to switch it on, settling down in the desk chair as she waits for it to power up.

DANIEL: Any luck?

CAT: Seems to be working normally. *grimaces* Well, by normally, I mean, it's still slow as hell. Good old Craptop.

She turns around in her chair to face Daniel.

CAT: So you were clinging to the outside for how long?

DANIEL: *blanches at the memory* Ten minutes. Any longer and I would've lost my grip.

CAT: *winces* Shit. I didn't realise you were there. Sorry.

DANIEL: *shrugs* I've woken up in worse places.

CAT: Yeah, but at least in the Conservatory you weren't afraid of getting sucked out into space.

DANIEL: I was actually talking about that inn back with the Infernal.

CAT: Oh yeah. Good times.

Daniel ignores her and folds his arms.

DANIEL: Do they really expect use to stay here?

CAT: I...hope not. The question of what we do when we need to go to the bathroom is still up in the air.

An uneasy expression crosses both of their faces. Cat turns around in her chair and begins typing into her computer.

CAT: Alright then. Present location is...Cat Madigan dot...dreamwidth. Dot org. That mean anything to you?

DANIEL: Dream width? Please don't tell me we're in an issue of The Sandman.

CAT: *dreamy eyed* I wish. I've always wanted to meet Morpheus...

DANIEL: I could give you several stories from that series that would demonstrate why that would be a terrible idea.

CAT: Point taken. *continues typing* So, time is two fifteen pm, date is the tenth of April, 2017. Everything seems to be normal. Database is all accounted for, and...home base is ninety five percent developed.

Daniel goes to the kitchen to check on the Magic Fridge. Opening the door, he finds a stock of meat dishes and icecream.

DANIEL: Oh shit. It took me months to train this thing to stock alcohol!

CAT: Yeah, all our downloads have gone too. The program that lets you enter and leave without interfering with the door isn't there anymore. No chance you have a back up?

DANIEL: No, but I found this in my pocket. *pulls out a roll of paper* I think it's our download history over the past couple of years. *eyes widen*

CAT: *uneasy* What? It gets lonely when you're busy exploring time and space.

DANIEL: No...something's been written on this.

Cat scootches over to take a look over Daniel's shoulder.

THIS WILL BE YOUR SETTLEMENT NOW. CONTINUE ASSIGNMENTS AS NORMAL, YOU ARE BEING WATCHED.

There is no signature.

CAT: ...reassuring. *glances around* I don't see any cameras...

DANIEL: More importantly, who do you think this is from? Friend? Ally? Kaya?

CAT: Don't know about you, but I don't want any of those options watching what I do on a Friday night.

DANIEL: That's...oddly specific. Anyway.

He hands her the list to redownload everything at a later date. The two of them look at eachother and back at the computer.

DANIEL: Do you think this place has always been hurtling through space?

CAT: Probably? I guess that would explain the steel door. Though not why it's suddenly been replaced with a wooden one. Or why you were on the opposite side.

DANIEL: Hmm. So...do you think things shall resume as normal now? Even in our new location?

CAT: Should do. It said 'continue assignments as normal'. I'll do my work, you do yours. The two of us, locked in a room, floating in space. As usual.

At that moment, there's a whirring sound, and another section appears in the flat. Cat goes to inspect it.

CAT: OH THANK GOD, I CAN PEE.

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